The Mixed Hair Phenomenon

In the morning, when I wake up, the first thing I do is feel my hair.

With that motion, I know what the weather is like outside. If it's hot, humid, cold, raining - my hair is way more reliable than any meteorologist.

The next thing I do, as concerning my hair, is to ask it how it's feeling. That determines what products will go into my hair, and how it will respond to those products.

Having mixed hair is not so much a physical trait as it is having a declaration of follicular independence on top of your head.

Through almost twenty three years of various and sundry testing and trialing (and erring) I have found a combination of hair products that, for the time present, seem to work for my hair. And it always makes me feel as though I am doing my civic duty when some poor frazzled mum with a mixed-race child stops me in the grocery store, "Please. I'm sorry to bug you, but what do you use in your hair? It looks so controlled." I smile. I pat my hair, sending it, if not loving energy, then at least an energy of tolerance. My hair and I both know that the word "control" is merely a lie among friends. We know who has control of whom.

I pat those frazzled mums on the hand, scrounge in my bag for pen and paper, and write down a detailed list. Those same women clutch the scraps of paper to their chests, and beam at me as if I've given them the Holy Grail. And in a superficial way...well...

My sister and I of course, have adopted two very different methods for cohabiting with our "crowning glories". She will steam, press, and flat iron the very suggestion of a curl out of hers. She has also resorted to chemical assistance. I, on the other hand have come to recognize the futility of the struggle. I embrace it. If my hair wants to frizz, poof, or run away from my head, I let it, for the most part. I've found that, generally, whatever my hair feels like doing that day, is usually better looking than anything I can coerce it into doing.

It's all about having the versatility and the spontaneity that crazy curly hair implies its wearer must have.