I am twenty-five today. An hour into my "mid twenties" and I'm feeling an anxiety attack coming on. I want to be able to laugh about growing up/getting old but I don't know. This quarter-of-a-century thing really has me stressing.
It's occurred to me that for this first part of my life I was living automatically...and I've wasted time. I have always cared so much about what everybody else thinks. No, make that: I've always cared so much about what the wrong people think. I've lived on auto-pilot.
This is a very scary realization.
So, then this is a threshold for me. I'm on the brink of something huge here, I can feel it. I feel like I don't have enough time to say and see and do all the things I want to. I feel this restless urgency to...get started...
I've never really pondered my birthday before. Maybe it's just the "25" thing. Who knows?
It feels like New Year's Eve.
