Wednesday, July 28, 2010

OUTERLimits

one month sans Facebook. 
it's a tad lonely, i must admit,
on the fringe,
out of the warmth of the loop.

i'm still here, though.

tinY Dancer

even as a child
my spirit was too big for my body
so, half the time
the only way i could express
the biggest feelings
was to dance,
a wild, nonsensical dance, or
spin with my arms out,
brown face turned to the clouds
wishing my eyes blue.

i was a modern dancer
long before i knew there was a name
for what i was doing.


Monday, July 26, 2010

Where Cara Lives

i've lost you
in this crumbling old mansion
lost you to
the sparkle of grandeur
that was never ours


we set off exploring
with nothing to bind us together
you were lost from me
and i from you

and now you wander,

(barefoot, your tiny crown slipping)
where rainwater is pooled
over cracking marble floors
and vines come reaching through the walls
there is nothing else breathing here
but something else is dying here
seething
breathing
dying here

it is choking the life from us
the seething
breathing
 beating
life in us
we should leave
and go away
let it crumble
and consume itself

but i have lost you here
in the maze of this house
this dead and alive house
seething
breathing
dead house

i would call out to you
but i am afraid
of what might answer
i am afraid of bringing to me
something malevolent
and false in its beauty

the shrill of my voice
would shatter in my ears
like the splintering of old glass
and what else would hear me?
for i know it's listening
this seething and
breathing and
living 
dying
house

i hate to go
i hate to leave you here
but this is the house you built
your derelict house
seething
and breathing
house


one of us must
make it out alive
 i'll always remember
where you once lived.


Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Morning News

Party divisions are for the brainless, spineless and weak.
To label yourself as one or the other tells me most of want I want to know about you.

Americans are continually surprised to learn that racism isn't just a disease affecting white folks.

Mel needs a shot of Thorazine in the butt,
and we shouldn't be privy to the occasional casualties of love and war, because
the de-evolution of someone's relationship is a private, intimate affair.

I should plant a rose garden.

Monday, July 19, 2010

In Twenty-Seven Years

thankful
that i might stretch out my hand
to any one of the many friends
i call my own

grateful for the love
the smiles and 
wishes for gentle sunlight
on my path

bless-ed
to know the crush of human affection
the press of familiar contact
in an alien land
satisfied
in the work i have chosen
the mission that chose me
that validates and sustains me

content
where i am
wherever i should find
myself

fortunate
to know the gifts
of dancer and audience
to speak and be
heard

to love and be loved

Monday, July 05, 2010

Letting Go the Butterfly

let it go

the sun is still shining outside
your life is spinning on and on without you
in jeweled colours, brilliant to behold

you've closed your eyes against them for too long

grow up
move on
it's time.


open your mind
open your fist
open your eyes
let the violins move you to tears
fall in love
let it go

see what your life would be, less connected
find peace,
in removing yourself from all the extracurricular
you will continue to breathe

stop thinking in status updates
pull the plug
take a breath, and pull the plug
on the insatiable desire to be connected
the connections you have
will mean more, that way
digital friendships leave your bones cold

it's going to be alright.
in the end, we'll all still be here.
you'll still be here. 
breathe in. 
open your fist.
breathe out.



let it go





Thursday, July 01, 2010

bother

it's watching a bug crawl up the wall
wearing the hell out of my couch
knowing i would be happier
curled around my husband

but i just can't move.

the procrastination
Sabbath neverending
i haven't earned it.

did we make something new today?
we didn't do much else
slept off and on
flipping channels
felt worthless

the sun makes it too hot
to go out in the day

i feel the skin melting from my bones
into a useless puddle